January 22, 2015

Dear Eldest,
 Don’t ever, ever think I like your sister more than I like you. Do I spend more time with her? Yes. But you two are in very different stages. She is turning 5 next week, you turn 17 in 2 1/2 months. Since I have to help her dress, brush her teeth, do her hair, and she’s at the “Velcro to mommy no matter what she’s trying to do” stage common to this age, the time is eaten up by default. And you’re in the friends, work, social life, “would rather marathon Netflix than talk to my family” stage.
 
 Do I wish things were different? Yes. I would love more hours in the day so I can spend equal time with both of you. I’m trying to fit work, cooking, cleaning, taking care of your sister, walking the dogs, spending time with you, with your father, and your sister, sleeping, eating, and all the other things I have to get done in one 24 hour period. I’m only human.
 
 For five years I’ve struggled to balance parenting a teen with parenting a small child. I used to feel SO guilty taking her places without you, places you wouldn’t even want to go. We have so much history, you & I. You were my first baby and my only one for almost 12 years. I hate hurting you. But I can’t deny her the trips to the park, the ice cream dates, the fun childhood experiences you had because your older self doesn’t want to do it.
 
 So when you casually say at dinner that I like her more than you, that’s a knife to my heart. If you want more time with me, help me have more time. I get so overwhelmed trying to do it all, that a simple offer of help would mean so much and give me the time to do something else in the day, something with you. Maybe “Mom, I’ll load the dishwasher while you put her in bed then we can play a game” or something like that would make my whole week.
 
 I love you always,
 Mom
 
 
 – Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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October 16, 2013

Dear daughters,

I’m sorry you will inherit such a screwed-up country. The past several years have gotten really bad politically. It’s not a Democrat thing, or a Republican thing, but the problem is an attitude of “I’m right and you’re wrong so there.”

The problem isn’t the fault of either side, but both. Everyone is so focused on “the enemy” of the other party that they forget that above all, we are all Americans. The political climate is full of hate and rhetoric, and while the internet and social media are wonderful most of the time, they allow the toxicity and hate to go viral and spread like a plague. It’s sad and it’s disturbing how hate is spreading like a virus.

If anything is going to destroy this country, it’s not going to be immigrants or terrorism or any outside force. The inhabitants are doing the job for them.

Just cross your fingers and say a prayer that we as a whole get our collective heads out of our rears and put pride aside and work together to fix things.

 

I love you always,

Mom

February 11, 2013

Dear Eldest,

Teenage girls suck sometimes. Trust me, I remember. And I see it still. I hate so much that you’re going through this.

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Basically, girls are mean, fickle creatures. Especially at this age, when you all have so many things going on: hormonal changes, body image issues, pressures from society and your immediate peers, academic and social responsibilities, and then the warring inner children and young adults. It’s enough to drive a person insane!

But, that doesn’t excuse anything. Part of becoming an adult is learning to deal with everything at once and still be a functioning member of society. Some of you are better at that than others.

I know this is hard on you, and my heart breaks for you, but I’m also very proud of you. You are standing up for yourself and deciding when enough is enough. You’ve made new friends and that is a big win for you.

You are my rock star, and I wish every person in the world could see how awesomesauce you are.

I love you always,

Mom

 

January 9, 2013

Dear Eldest,

I saw your confused look and then “whatever” face when you closed the door when I dropped you off at church tonight. Yes, I was sarcastic and really didn’t handle that exchange in the best way, but there wasn’t time for explanation. There will be when I pick you up, but it won’t be the same.

First, I’m sorry for that, especially since it seemed to come out of nowhere.

Second, this is why I said it. I rushed to pick up your sister from her sitter’s house, then home to pick up you and A to get you to church on time. I was inside the house less than five minutes and never even had a chance to sit down. I put the dogs out and cleaned out my lunch bag, gave your sister a piece of string cheese, and you were rushing me out the door. My saying “oh, we’re out of tea. Darn it.” did nothing to delay us. The two minute ride was fine, once you realized that me telling you that your sister really wanted pizza apparently by the way she was excited about a delivery car being next to us then upset when we turned and it didn’t follow did not mean we were having pizza for dinner, I was just telling a story. Then we got to the church. I said “Bye, have fun, I’ll see you at seven.” You said “Thanks, we will, see you then.”

Oh, wait. You didn’t.

Your answer actually was, “Be here at seven so I don’t have to wait.”

Because the five minutes you’ve had to wait in the past is so inconvenient, apparently.

My response of a sarcastic “You’re welcome” wasn’t much better, I know. And it was not the time. But your tone when you said that really pissed me off. Believe it or not, my purpose isn’t to serve you. And that is what it sounded like when you said that. That is why I got snappy.

I love you always,

Mom

 

January 3, 2012

65087_10101156890494065_1298518097_nDear Littlest,

In four weeks exactly, you will turn 3. THREE! How in the world can you be three years old already? I know, I know… time passing. But it will always seem to go too quickly.

I love seeing you grow and learn. You have such a sense of humour, and are always entertaining us by singing, dancing, or generally acting silly. You’re learning more and more every day. You know your letters, and now are learning your numbers and colors. I’m (not so) secretly thrilled that red is your favorite color, because it’s also mine. I’m not so opposed to your new love of princesses since you also love dinosaurs just as much.

I’m so happy to be your mommy. I’m happy your big sister has the chance to be a big sister and that you have her in your life. I’m very thankful we decided to grow our family.

I love you always,

Mommy

December 31, 2012

Dear daughters,

202873158184860168_IMeNmUtk_cToday is the last day of the year. This morning as I was browsing one of the free Kindle books blogs I follow, I noticed that several books today focus on becoming a better person, and rules for life. You don’t need a book for these things, though, since the truth is inside yourself. So, to close out this year and bring in the new, here is my list of “rules” to follow.

  • Learn to say no – don’t spread yourself too thin. (This does not apply to chores.)
  • Prioritize. Make sure the important things – family, friends, time for yourself, homework – are taken care of, then fit in the other things.
  • In all relationships, both friendships and romantic, an arguement does not equal the end of the relationship.
  • It’s okay to be the first to say I’m sorry, and the first to forgive. Even if the other person doesn’t apologize, still forgive.
  • No matter what happens, or when, you can always, always count on your father and me. Always. Whether you need a ride in the middle of the night when friends are drinking (or yourself), or if the person you choose to love can’t show love without abuse, or if you just need a shoulder to cry on and someone to pass the tissues and chocolate – you can always count on us.
  • Never, ever, ever drive after drinking. Ever.
  • Always wear your seatbelt.
  • Don’t hold on to anger.
  • You are important.
  • Don’t forward cutesy emails. Especially if it says “make a wish and send to x people.”
  • Trust your instincts, always.
  • Learn a couple self-defense moves and be prepared to use them if necessary.
  • In order to be happy in a relationship, you must first be happy with yourself.
  • Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can change the other person.

I love you always,

Mom

December 29, 2012

DSCN1308

The girls at the zoo earlier this month

 

Dear daughters,

I hope that you always love each other like you do now. I hope that no matter what happens in your lives, that you will always lean on each other and support each other. I hope that you always adore each other. I hope that you always enjoy each other.

I know your relationship will change as you each get older, especially in three short years when Eldest goes to college and Littlest begins kindergarten. But it is my biggest wish that you never, ever forget how you feel about each other.

Love,

Mom